Guidlines for living with Commander Feral and Kats
by Autaumn Wolf
Summary: These are some rules to help you out around our favorite Commander katizens. This is written from a human girl's POV R&R please
1. Chapter 1

**Just got really bored one day and started writing down some rules, hope you like it =D**

**oOoOoOoO**

1. Don't get on Feral's bad side ( Trust me)

2. When on the week-ends and you to stay in his office don't annoy him.  
( * Dodges clipboard* ) ( " Ha Ha missed me!")( * Runs from Feral * )

3. SWAT Kats + Feral = Katastophe

riding in his squad car , don't ask to sound the siren.  
( he said no)  
( but I did it anyway)  
(Got grounded,but it was so worth it)  
(Can't wait to try out the new one)  
( * Smiles evilly*)

5. When it's time to go to sleep never complain about sleeping on the floor.  
( He made me sleep between him and the wall )  
( It was not comfortable, and he sleeps in his boxers * Shivers* ) O.o (but his fur is so soft....forget that last part)

6. After you get out of the shower, MAKE SURE you HAVE a TOWEL!  
(no comment....guess he forgot) ( Scary)

7. When in the shower make SURE no one STEALS your towel.  
( Don't look at me)  
(The voices are telling me the towel thief came)  
( * Edge of towel sticks out of refrigerator * )  
( Yeah... * Runs away super fast* )

8. Never make Feral mad!  
( Just don't do it)  
( Me....I don't count)

mention the word 'Fun' around Feral.  
( I don't think he knows what the word means)

10. Don't act stupid, especially in public.

asked to babysit Steel, don't take it literally. ( Like I did)  
(I put him in the naughty corner )  
( Shouldn't have back talked me)

12. Never play 'Love Games' around Feral. ( I played just as Steel was in Feral's office)  
( Alot of Kats were mistaken)  
( I had to clear things up..... got grounded )  
( Can't handle a little joke)

13. When Feral is coming don't do the Jaws Theme.  
( He didn't take it well)  
( Office supplies went flying)  
( * Rubs arm* He needs to take anger management...or take out all his anger on Steel)

14. When Feral is coming in for work please don't send post-it notes saying ' It's Here'.  
( it ended with a few kats getting fired )  
( Why couldn't he fire Steel along with them why? Why torture us with his presence!)

15. Don't call Steel a ' A cock sucking coward '.  
( Even though he is) * Snickers*

16. Don't take Steel's coffee when he's not looking.  
( I am the only one who can actually pull it off without being caught.)  
( But at lunch break many kats wonder why I'm running around the parking lot)

17. Never under ANY cercumstance take my food or candy or drink!  
( I almost broke Steel's arm for taking a slice of my pizza I was eating)  
( Every time I see him and I'm eating I offer him some and all he does is walk away quickly mumbling)  
( Guees he wasn't hungry at the moment)  
18. When on the way home don't read all the road signs aloud.  
( I ended up walking the rest of the way in the dark!)

19. Never play dead and still pretend to act dead,when some one is being serious.  
( I was in Feral's office, he was working late and I was Super board!)  
( I told him I was dieing of boredom,he said I would be fine)  
( I got up anfd fell down with a large gulp of air)  
( he got up after a minute to see if I was alright)  
( He called my name a few times, but I didn't answer)  
( He was fixin' to do CPR and then I burst out laughing)  
( He got Super mad)  
( But it was silent anger )  
( I got grounded for 3 months, but the look on his face was priceless)

20. When trouble don't say " Fuck me"  
( I did once and many many kats took it the wrong way)  
( As if I would * Shivers violently * He's my guardian!) ( * Whines for a second *Why!*)

OoOoOoOoOo

**Well that's it for now, please leave a review and let me know,even if it was crap. Well thanks and if you have any ideas or suggestions or any rules please review or PM me. The faster you review the faster the next chapter comes. Til' next time, Anna.**


	2. Chapter 2

**I'm Baaaacccckkkkk! and thanks ulyferal for reviewing!**

**Disclaimer: I own nopthing,but me and the rules I made up for fun.**

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

21. I'm not allowed to prank anyone except Steel.  
( wait not Steel either....ok * pouts* )  
( " Hey Steel I really think you shouldn't open that door")  
(Steel: " Why?.....* opens door* wwwwaaaaahhh! * Bucket of ice cold water dumps out all over Steel* )  
( * runs away laughing* " I warned you not to open the door, but do you listen? No!" )

22. I'm not allowed to poke Feral repeatedly to get his attention.  
( He doesn't like it)  
( That's why I do it") ( Hey Feral * Starts poking* )  
( * Ducks down as book breaks window* uh-oh this can't be good.)  
( Run for the hills!)

23. Runaway from the enforcers ( No offense, but bad things tend to happen to them)  
( * jumps behind dumster as aleins ubduct Steel* )  
( Feral: Hey where did steel go?)  
( Me: Aleins kidnapped him,don't worry they'll probably beg us to take him back.)  
( Feral: They can have him.)  
( Me: I agree good ridance!" )

and hide behind Feral.  
( He picked me up by my jeans)  
( Talk about a major wedgie!)  
( * wadles away* )

25.I'm not allowed to take Steel's stuff ( All I did was borrow a stapler and some duck tape)  
( To stick him to the wall)  
( * brings all my friends to play darts with me and Steel*)  
( * When Steel is the dart board*)

26.I'm not allowed to tie up Steel and leave him in the closet for several hours.  
( What? I forgot.)  
( I have a short attention span.... OOooooo a puppy! wait what?)  
(I got grounded, but did I learn anything? Let me think.....no.)  
( It was so worth it)

27. Steal someone's coffee ( What?...oh this? I got this from starbucks)  
( What do you mean you never heard of starbucks!)  
( Oh yeah you don't have a starbucks here do you)  
( * runs away gulping down the coffee as I run* )  
( * Hands empty cup to Steel* here you can have your coffee back)

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO**

**Well that's all I have for now....hope you all enjoyed it and review please! or PM me I'm all outta ideas. Til' next time, Me.**


	3. And Some more Rules

I'm back...again!

Disclaimer: Y'all lawyers already know my answer.

(X.O)(X.O)(X.O)

28. Never bring your girlfriends to the office (Things tend to get hectic)

come between me and my MP3 player

(Feral took my MP3 player away so I replaced his badge with a smiley face pin)

(That day did not end well)

30. Don't get caught with cat nip

( What! Why are you arresting me! * Struggles against handcuffs*)  
( Enforcer: Cat nip)  
( Me: CATNIP!)  
(Enforcer: it's illegal)  
( Me: I can't eat it or what ever you do with it, I'm a human! * Sighs*)  
( I get into trouble over things I don't understand * Hangs head in shame)

31. Do not go out clubbing,if you are under 18 ( Me: This place is off the shizay * Dancing with some random dude Kat)  
( *Hears Feral's yelling over large crowd* Shit)  
( * Runs out the back way and makes it into room somehow unnoticed*)  
( I'm so dead)

steal my drumstick icecream

( Steel did that once)

( I stole his lunch for rest rest of the month)

pretend to runaway ( I was handcuffed to a chair!)  
( For a two days!)

not give steel female phereone perfume ( I had a hay day with this one)  
( A few of his male co-workers kept asking if he was a Female)  
(He says no,but I say yes) ( I told those certain Co-workers he was)  
( He found tampons in his desk)  
( That was not my doing) ( Maybe it was those co-workers)  
( *Thinks* Mystery!) ( *Looks for clues)

35. No car washes!  
( How was I suppose to know they were dry clean only?)  
( The car actually shrank)  
( That's a first * Still staring in shock*)

36. No being anyone's 'mini me'  
( Surprisingly I didn't get in trouble for this one)

37. Don't Shout random things.  
( Moo I'm a fish!)  
( I had to take a mental test)

38. When in a large room full of kats don't do this:  
( Me: Shut up,Shut up!,SHUT THE FLIP UP! The voices are singing me a song)  
( another metal test that I PASSED! With a D- Oh wait that's my math test)

39. Don't switch Steel's new batteries with dead batteries ( He took all of them out and tried them out and none of them worked)  
( One did...for a few minutes)  
( He went to the store and bought more)  
( I switched them with triple A instead of double)  
( Feral inspected his desk and found Triple A batteries,not double)  
( Poor steel, That was funny)

Feral leaves and puts Steel in charge don't do this:  
( * Runs around in circles screaming were all gonna die*)  
( I ran into the wall)  
( Hey who turned the lights out?)

(x.x)~(x.x)~(x.x)

I hope you liked it,some were dry though. I'm running out of ideas! Please review thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

Hello here is another chapter

Disclaimer: Disclaims everything,but Shadow & Sadie)

Rules 43,44, 45,61,62,63 are owned by Dean the cuddly fox.

(O.O)~(O.O)~(X.X)

41. I am not a morning person so let me sleep!  
(Steel: * Wakes me up rudely*)  
( Me: * throws Steel out the window* Serves him right)

't spike Steel's coffee ( I put laxatives in it * watches from corner*)  
two hours later in meeting ( Steel runs out in desperate need to find a bathroom)  
(Poor dude * shakes head in mock sympathetically then laughs*)

43. Do not act seductively around Steele to get him to do things for you.  
(That day did not end well and I STILL failed that science project)  
( And a restraining order) ( But daddy I can't help it if he's a weirdo and I needed an A)

44. Do NOT hide the Mayor's golf clubs in an attempt to get him to actually work (He had an ENTIRE department on this...boy he loves golf...)

45. Do NOT sneak off to the shooting range with your cousin when your supposed to be grounded...  
(he actually SPANKED me!)

46. Never get Steel drunk ( Drunk Steel is fun Steel)  
( Fun Steel is weird Steel)

47. Never ever give Steel a Roothie passed off as candy ( I had fun with this one)  
( I took a sharpie and drew a hitler mustache on his upper lip)  
( Then drew on his brows and put black spray paint in his hair)  
( He looked all so familiar)

48. Do not say anything about the human anatomy ( I bored the mayor to sleep!) ( Surprising really)  
( Steel had to go to counseling)  
( Dad well he wasn't really interested)  
( The scientists would let me sleep for two days) ( They asked me so many damn questions!)

49. Never suddenly start staring at a kat for long periods of time without blinking.  
( I freaked out many of kats)  
( One poked me and I fell over)  
(That was hilarious except for my migrane)

50. When someone flips you off do not say the following:  
Any time any place bitch,  
I rather not,  
You finger say fuck you,but in your mind you say I love you you crazy butt hole.

51. When you flip someone off and they say any time any place don't say right here right now ( Yeah I did that once and that person *not saying any names* and they took it literatly)  
( I kicked some major tail)  
52. Do NOT sell Steel on E-bay ( This old lady said he would look nice in her living room)  
( This guy said he would make good food for his pet. I wonder what that pet would be)  
( In the end I won him...got my cousin for one penny more)  
( There are no return policys on this E-bay)  
( Damn it he's defective! I want my money back!)

53. Whenever you come out of a room with the opposite sex in it Don't do this,  
( when in a room with,some one)  
( then walk out and shutter " I feel so vilated")  
( Then run off pretending to cry)

54. Never put Viagra in Steels Coffee ( Surprisingly nothing happened)  
( I knew he was a girl!)  
( Ha HAA! Oh...nevermind * runs away*)  
( Okay he's not a girl...damn I lost my quarter to Sadie)

55. Never dare me or my cousin to see who can be weirder ( I clearly won with a few strange looks and a bagel)  
(Bagels...yummy) ( Now I want a bagel...crap)

56. Do Not lie to Steel about the humans way of sex ( Me: Pokes Steel and says buzz)  
(Steel: why did you do that?)  
( Me: Oh I just had sex with you)  
(Steel: WHAT! * Jumps back*)  
( Me: That's the humans way of having sex)  
( Steel: Humans are weird)  
( Me: * Pokes Steel while say buzz)  
( This will never get old,but I'll have to tell him some time,but not any time soon)

57. Never mess with dad's laptop ( What I just plugged my Ipod in)  
( Surprisingly his computer has a USB port)  
( *Looks at sparking computer* )  
( I can fix that!)

not explain the monthly curse to Steel ( He past out) ( Wuss)  
Not dance when bored ( I can't help it if I dance terrible)  
(Everyoner looks at me as if I'm crazy)  
( I created a new dance)

60. Don't tell dad I'm friends with those two mechanics at the salvage yard ( I would never hear the end of it)  
( And my ears would probably fall off from the never ending lecture.)

61. Don't drip fast food in dad's Enforcer car (He's scary when he gets mad *ducks cup of watered down soda*)

slip a mickey in dad's milk when he's stressed out (aww he's purring!)

63. Do not show dad Swatkats footage recorded from Kat's Eye News (boy he hates them a lot. he didnt have to throw the tv out of the twelfth floor of Enforcer HQ though...)

64. Never send out fake death threats to STeel.  
( He almost shit his pants)  
(He had to be put under lock down!)  
( Til some one found out it was me)  
( But dad never got told so Thanks mystery person.)

65. Don't rewire Steel's keyboard ( He typed up a whole 500 page report)  
( Without looking at the screen)  
( He sent it to dad and dad almost had a cow)  
( In the end Steel got his wrath.)

67. Never EVER mess with my laptop!  
( Steel: *twitches* How can you be so dirty minded?)  
( Me: You read my note pad didn't you?)  
(Steel: *Nods*)  
( Me: Are you going to do it again?)  
( Steel: No!*runs off to a consler*)  
(Me: See folks thats why you don't mess with my laptop)  
( You may run into thingts that disturb you for life)  
( joking,but I wonder what Steel read?)

68. Never play truth or dare (Me: Katie I dare you to kiss Tyler)  
(Katie: EW No!)  
(Me: Chicken!)  
(Katie: Fine! *kisses tyler*)  
(Me: that wasn't so bad now was it?)  
(Katie: * hits me upside the head*)  
(Me: Ow! Okay it was)  
( Friends: *Laughing at us.)

69. Never replace my dad's pens with crayons and markers ( *Snikering* It wasn't me)  
( Dad had to do his report in green crayon)  
( Laughs at sloppy report)  
70. Please introduce Steel to Barney ( Now he has nightmares)  
( Muawhahahahahahhahahaaaa! *cough*)

(oo)(oo0

Thats all for now and please review or PM me for rule ideas. 


	5. Chapter 5

Hey everyone and thanks for the ideas and rules grey dog :D

(o.o)(o.o)9o.o0(o.o)

71. Watch all final destinations movies with steel (Steel *looking everywhere*)  
(Me: Um what are you doing?) (Steel: Shh... deaths watching us)  
(Me: Steel it was just a...*smiles evily*...OMG steel i had a vision you're gonna DIE!)  
(Steel: *steel panicks, screams like a little girl and locks himself in the closet*)  
(Me: hehehehhe idiot)

72. Pierce you're tounge then blame steel (Me: Hi dad) (Dad: *Looks at you and notices it" WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO YOU'RE TOUNGE)  
(Me: Uh this... Steel told me to do it)  
(Dad: Oh... did he now *walks out of the room*) The next moring I see steel and damn he was coverd in rings all over his bodies (Thank god this is fake *takes out fake tongue ring*)

73. Bring you're dog to the bulding Well I cant tell you what happen but just to tell you, Kats were hanging above the ceiling and even my dad (Whats their problem...oh now I get it)

74. Never get a tattoo SWAT Kats fan ( I had a fake tattoo made and put it on my arm)  
(Dad had a cow!)  
( Especially when I told him it was permanent)  
( hehehehe (week later) Takes off fake tattoo)

75. Don't put me on T.V. to make an idiot of myself.  
*Stares into the camera*

76. Never paint my dad's squad car ( *Holding paint brush* What's wrong with green?)  
( I actually got grounded)

77. Never take pictures of me ( Steel tried to take a picture of me)  
( Ah Child pornography!)  
( *Hides in closet*)

78. Do pull pranks on Steel

79. Never kick any Guy Kat in the nads for entertainment ( Steel: *falls over*)  
(Sadie: What?)  
(Me:*falls over laughing* Next time let me handle the entertainment)

80. Do not show dad Robot Chicken ( *cries as dad throws away my DVDs* But why?)  
( *Sighs and takes out copies of DVD's*)  
(He'll never know)  
(o.o)9o.o)9o.o)9o.o)

Hi, thanks for reading and please Review,  
i know some of these were lame (on my part) Anyway if you have any or ideas review or PM me thanks!  



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